I Wish I Hadn’t Said That

The following statements have been taken from actual accident reports.  These were submitted to various insurance companies and the list was compiled by USAA, United Services Automobile Association.  I doubt that any of these helped the person’s cause.   

• Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have… 
• The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions… 
• I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it… 
• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way… 
• The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him… 
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment… 
• In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole… 
• I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident… 
• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle… 
• An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished… 
• I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him… 
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him… 
• The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth… 
• I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows… 
• The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck my front end… 
• I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle.  The driver and passengers then left immediately for vacation with injuries… 

The English language is a truly beautiful thing.  One word of caution, try to stay out of the way of those tricky inanimate objects that seem to move all over the place.  Honestly, I think we should all be extra careful while driving, realizing that there are many things out there that can cause us harm.